Exploring The Energy Behind Symptoms

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I painted this when I was young, maybe close to 10-12 years old. It happened sparatically after my grandmother lead me through the sensations I was experiencing. She practiced and used to receive Reiki. As an adult, I would describe it as a Shamanic experience or vision quest.

I had a high fever from the flu. This painting is a rendering of how the energy felt in my body at the time. This painting is special to me, as it marks my first experience being aware of the subtle energies related to sickness that can be felt as "densities" in the energy system.

This has led me to ask more questions about the universe, humanity and sickness as I grew up. I eventually learned that this was a form of remote viewing. The data is contextual and hyperdimensional. We gain access to this subtle flirting with our conciousness when we clear our minds of the constriction held there.

It was a defining moment for me, as my grandmother encouraged me to explore the fear there instead of resigning from it. This has formed the basis for my awareness practice. It also brought me to a new understanding of disease and trauma.

When I look at this painting today, it clearly resembles an aomeba-like form. The colors were intended to be a muddy, redish brown to resemble the congestion and heat I was experiencing.

There was another energetic "form" I was experiencing, that I am well aware of even today if I get sick. It felt like a heavy weight that consumed my whole body. Even at that age, I compared it to a massive mound of clay that was dumped on top of me, weighing me down. Pushing against this clay resulted in resistance - the resistance to my healing.

As my grandmother was leading me through this Shamanic passage into higher awareness, I began exploring that dense pressure instead of fighting it.

This experience may have helps the sickness clear up. That part I do not remember. However, the event struck a realization in me that had to be documented. Even as this watercolor painting was in process, I was feeling those sense energies in my body, even after I was well. The process enlivened me.

What do you see in the painting? Do you ever just stop and feel?

Joey Esposito - Bioenergist

Reactivity Protocol

When we are in a problem set, we cannot see the solution. It seems to be outside of us. To escape the loop of suffering, we must suspend the notion of an external threat - to become aware that the physio-emotional experience resides within our own being. This is not to say that there is never an external threat. But rather, acknowledging that all sensation arises from within - always.

Claiming responsibility for our own reactivity, making it still through our awareness by simply seeing it "as is", releases the constriction in mind.

We can always drop the story and follow the feeling.

Take 1 breath deeply and slowly, directing the airflow into the ribcage. Then claim this statement out loud (preferable) or in your mind, "This is how I feel right now." Then, Note the level of intensity from 1-10, 10 being extremely upset.

This is how you claim responsibility for the feeling you are having by directing your attention to the body which calms the mind.

Continue to breath this way as you proceed to take a moment to scan your present environment. A majority of the time the physio-emotional life-event, that initially instigated your upset, has already passed and the perceived threat resides only in mind. Realizing there is no current threat to your body calms the nervous system.

Then ask the question out loud (preferable) or in your mind, "Now how do I feel?" Take a new #, noticing the intensity of your upset has decreased.

It always decreases if you follow these steps.

The active mechanism in this practice is realizing the downshift, from upset to serenity, regardless of how slight.

To complete the exercise, immediately shift your attention to something else. It can be completely random and arbitrary. It would be most beneficial to choose an activity that includes physical discharge. Maybe you go for a walk, wash the dishes, run an errand, complete a task or simply take a nice bath. Regardless of the action, the active mechanism here is the immediate shift into a different activity.

What was once believed to be an unknown force, residing outside of your grasp, now becomes an internalized cauldron of alchemical fire - extinguishing false notions of the limited self, resulting in a radiant array of clear, right-minded disposition to the object of interest.

- The Bioenergist