I painted this when I was young, maybe close to 10-12 years old. It happened sparatically after my grandmother lead me through the sensations I was experiencing. She practiced and used to receive Reiki. As an adult, I would describe it as a Shamanic experience or vision quest.
I had a high fever from the flu. This painting is a rendering of how the energy felt in my body at the time. This painting is special to me, as it marks my first experience being aware of the subtle energies related to sickness that can be felt as "densities" in the energy system.
This has led me to ask more questions about the universe, humanity and sickness as I grew up. I eventually learned that this was a form of remote viewing. The data is contextual and hyperdimensional. We gain access to this subtle flirting with our conciousness when we clear our minds of the constriction held there.
It was a defining moment for me, as my grandmother encouraged me to explore the fear there instead of resigning from it. This has formed the basis for my awareness practice. It also brought me to a new understanding of disease and trauma.
When I look at this painting today, it clearly resembles an aomeba-like form. The colors were intended to be a muddy, redish brown to resemble the congestion and heat I was experiencing.
There was another energetic "form" I was experiencing, that I am well aware of even today if I get sick. It felt like a heavy weight that consumed my whole body. Even at that age, I compared it to a massive mound of clay that was dumped on top of me, weighing me down. Pushing against this clay resulted in resistance - the resistance to my healing.
As my grandmother was leading me through this Shamanic passage into higher awareness, I began exploring that dense pressure instead of fighting it.
This experience may have helps the sickness clear up. That part I do not remember. However, the event struck a realization in me that had to be documented. Even as this watercolor painting was in process, I was feeling those sense energies in my body, even after I was well. The process enlivened me.
What do you see in the painting? Do you ever just stop and feel?
Joey Esposito - Bioenergist